25

Yesterday I had a very busy calendar with three different events on tap - I skipped all of them but our Samhain ritual last night. One of the ones I skipped was a workshop at work; yeah, I could use the CEUs, but there was no way I could get myself moving.

The other event was my 25th high school reunion.

Gasp! you say. How could she bail on that?

For one thing, I haven't attended a class reunion in 20 years. The nearing of my 10 year reunion sent me into a suicidal spin that landed me in therapy. I felt like I was a failure, working as a secretary for just above minimum wage after graduating second in my class, while others in my class were already pulling 6-figure incomes. I couldn't face it.

My 20th reunion invitation found me in a much healthier place, but carried a pricetag of about $75 per person. Yeah, right! Skipped that one, too.

Our 25th reunion was a little more reasonably priced, and yet I have felt very noncommittal about it. For one thing, I have had no contact with any of my classmates for the last 20+ years until a few weeks ago, when one classmate emailed and called me, and then another did the same. Nice, right? but it's been more than 20 years.... The two close friends that I had kept in touch with after graduation fell by the wayside a long time ago. What would be the point of going? I don't play games, I don't care how many diamonds you're wearing or where your husband works or who you had over for dinner last night. I would talk to the few people I would like to catch up with, and then I'd be done. I would have to play nice and look interested for the next couple of hours when all I wanted to do was leave. I might as well be at work!

Did I mention I attended an all-girl Catholic high school?

Can you imagine the reaction when they asked me what I've been doing for the last 25 years?

"Well, I graduated from Cal State Fullerton with a degree in History. Got married. Had 3 kids. I'm divorced. Oh yeah, and I'm a lesbian."