Doing my Civic Duty

I arrived at my local courthouse and stood in line waiting for the doors to open. Got through security without a hitch (woe betide any who think to confiscate my jelly bellies!) and headed up to the 6th floor jury room. And sat. Did a crossword puzzle. Went to the bathroom. Finally they started the orientation process.

Oh. My. Goddess. Is there anyone in the US today doesn't know how to fill in the little bubbles on the census? Even kindergardners are taught how to do that on standardized tests!

An hour and fifteen minutes after they started orientation, they informed us that they expected to call three panels that day. They called the first jury panel at around 9:30. My mantra as they started calling names was, "I need coffee and a break." The laws of attraction, you know. If you say, "Don't call my name," the universe doesn't hear the "don't" - just "call my name" - and wham! you get what you didn't want. They called about 75 names. They didn't call mine. So I got my coffee and my break :-)

Then I sat. Did crossword puzzles. Read my book. Talked to a friend from church who also had to show up. (My co-worker who had to show up was called on the first panel.) I refused to pay $6 an hour to use the computer terminals. At 11:45 they released us for lunch until 1:30. The cafeteria had a veggie burger and fries special. Guess what I had for lunch? (Why do short order cooks think veggie burgers have to cook as long as beef burgers do? Needless to say, the patty was a bit on the crunchy side.) Called my wife. Called my dad. Went back inside about 1:20.

1:30 came around. No announcements. Okay. I sat. I did another crossword puzzle. I went outside on the patio to soak up some sun. I sat. I read my book and ate jelly beans. I waited for them to call the other two panels.

The last time I actually had to serve jury duty, as opposed to just "calling in", they called my name for a panel at 4:00 pm and made me return the next day for the panel interviews. I did NOT want this to happen again.

At 3:15, they finally turned the PA system back on and called everyone into the jury room. Here we go, I thought.

"We have just received clearance to release all of you. Your jury duty is completed."

Loud clapping and cheering ensued.

"I can tell by the sound in this room that you are all sorely disappointed by this news."

Ah, a would-be comedian. Don't quit your day job, honey.

I collected my proof of jury duty and headed home. Unlike my usual Friday night commute (which can take up to two and a half hours to go 36 miles), I was home in 10 minutes. The positive side of having to show up for jury duty 3 miles away on a Friday!